Is It Possible to Have the "Wrong Mindset" About Music Lessons?

Practice expectations for music students are essential, both for the student's personal growth and for the societal perception of music as a discipline worthy of serious study.

From day one of my violin study, starting when I was an itty-bitty four-year-old, I knew there were practice expectations associated with my lessons.

My teacher and parents made sure not only that I practiced, but that I did so with the frequency and duration that were appropriate for my level of musical development.

Furthermore, they told me what and how to practice, sometimes even requiring that I play various passages a certain number of times, targeting a specific element or doing so with some technical intention.

And they made sure I did it, because they cared that I was growing as a musician. (And also so that it would be worth my parents’ hard-earned money and my teacher’s time.)

If you’ve taught young musicians for longer than approximately .5 seconds, you know, first-hand, that it can be hard to get students to practice, and that the reasons for this seem to be as varied and multidimensional as young musicians themselves.

I certainly saw this over the course of my own career as a music teacher. Sometimes, despite my best efforts to explain what and how to practice; make assignments as clear and as reasonably achievable as possible; implement external reward systems like stickers and prizes; and engage the students’ parents in the process, students would still fail to meet my practice expectations, and simply repeat the same content in their lessons week after week.

Inevitably, either I would ultimately approach the student and the parent and be honest about their lack of progress; or the parent would catch onto this themselves – and the end result of either would be the parent pulling their kid from lessons because the kid “didn’t like it” or “didn’t want to put the time in,” and they, the parent, “weren’t going to waste their money if little Sally isn’t practicing.”

Meeting practice expectations can even be an issue with adult learners, who understand that their progress is primarily their responsibility. “I didn’t have time” is the reason I hear the most from my adult students. They often have the desire to practice and improve, but life tends to get in the way.

One could argue that any of the “excuses” that students offer for not practicing are rooted in some kind of truth. Maybe they really didn’t have the time. Maybe they really don’t like the instrument they’re studying. Maybe their passions lie elsewhere. Maybe they really did forget, and, before they knew it, it was lesson day again. And many of these reasons are often forgivable, especially if they occur only occasionally.

I’d argue, however, that the reasons typically offered by students and/or their parents for consistently failing to meet practice expectations are not really the root reasons for a lack of practicing.

Before I outline what I believe the two main, overarching reasons are, though, I first want to establish something about practice expectations more generally, which is…

Practice Expectations Aren’t Optional. They’re Essential.

We need them. They’re necessary.

You’d think this would be obvious. We know, as professional musicians and as humans, that improving at any skill requires repeated, thoughtful, engaged practice.

And yet, I’ve seen more than one conversation in various voice teacher forums over the past few years asking whether practice expectations are really necessary, especially for young students.

This has been especially prevalent since the pandemic, when allowance after excuse after accommodation was made for students falling short of expectations, “because covid.” Because we were living in stressful times. Because home life, for many, was upended and certain routines became difficult or ground to a complete halt. Because kids (and adults) were struggling, mentally and emotionally. Because we were all facing some degree of adversity.

While I acknowledge all of this – I remember the difficulty of those times, too, after all, and I faced my own share of adversity during those years (not all of which was even covid-related, btw) – I also see that the excuse-making for students has not stopped. We continue to allow them to show up to their music lessons, or even regular school, without their having engaged with any of the required material nor done any of the assignments, letting them just scuttle along with no real consequences for not having completed, in a satisfactory manner, the work that was asked of them.

My husband is a middle school teacher, and I know he sees this kind of mentality all the time. While we want to understand each child’s situation and the reasons they might not be willing or able to complete required assignments, we also can’t throw standards out the window – which, in many cases, seems to be what is happening. My husband and I talk often about the differences between our own education – which, in both our cases, was quite rigorous and came with high expectations for both academic performance and behavior – and what we see happening in education now: significantly lower academic expectations, instead of schools and teachers equipping students with the tools and mindsets they need to meet any reasonably high standard and work through the failures that are an inevitable part of learning; and consequences for behavioral infractions that are either inadequate or completely nonexistent, creating a disruptive classroom environment in which is it harder for eager students to focus, engage, and learn.

All of this seems to have spilled over into private music instruction, too. In the comment thread of every post I see in voice teaching social media forums about “how do I get my young students to practice more consistently,” there is always at least one person who asks in return, “Is it really necessary to have practice expectations for young students, though?” And for every one of those kinds of comments, there are at least half a dozen more that say that we should continue to keep the bar really low for these chronic non-practicers, because “we can’t know what they’re going through at home” or “maybe they’re neurodivergent,” or “maybe they’re in lessons just because they want to have fun,” and, in light of that, we should keep practice expectations to a bare minimum.

Perhaps these commenters are the kinds of teachers who truly don’t care whether their students practice. Perhaps it doesn’t bother them to repeat the same content week after week, lesson after lesson – they’re getting paid, after all.

But I think this is not how most music teachers feel. They became musicians for a reason, and many of them view it as a calling. Teaching, in particular, is its own noble calling. Most of them feel that music is an important thing for a young person to have in their lives, and that it requires the development of several skills that will serve students well across disciplines and life experiences. Most teachers, I think, want their students to grow and improve, as musicians and as people – not simply be stuck in a holding pattern for months or years because they continually choose not to practice.

Most teachers also know that music is a field with its own set of standards. These standards vary across different sectors of the industry, of course, but I think there is a consensus among teachers that music is an art form with its own expectations and traditions that deserve to be kept and imparted to the next generation. This brings me to the first reason that practice expectations are essential:

Reason #1: We Want People to Take Music More Seriously, Right?

Holding students – even young students – accountable to some reasonable standard with their music study is a necessary thing, because it teaches them and their parents that music is a serious, legitimate discipline worthy of our study.

THIS is why it is essential to have practice expectations for your students.

Music lessons are not simply a safe space where students can just show up and have fun singing (or playing) whatever they want for an hour a week, with no accountability for what happens between sessions.

Music lessons are a space where students are meant to learn and grow and improve their skills in an area worthy of study, so that they can be more well-rounded human beings.

Learning and growing requires work, thoughtful engagement, challenge, and even failure. It involves trial and error as well as healthy curiosity. All of these traits and mindsets are things that young people need help cultivating. They will probably not attain these mentalities without help from a role model who is able to coach them expertly through the learning process. If young students are not putting in the work, week after week, year after year, then it’s probably because nobody’s held them truly accountable to it and told them why that work is important.

Reason #2: Young Music Are the Future of the Music Industry

The second reason we need practice expectations is that music lessons are the building blocks for the music industry. While not all of our students have professional aspirations or abilities, some inevitably will, and the lack of standards and expectations does these musicians a disservice. Serious students who continue to study music long-term should be expected to sing or play at a very high level of skill. Even if they decide not to be professional musicians, they will at least have an understanding of the standards and expectations associated with the art form they’re studying.

This was certainly the case for me, especially as I advanced as a violinist and my training became more rigorous. My peers and I were playing at an exceptionally high level for our age, not because we were all expected to go on to be professional violinists, but because that exceptionally high level was simply the standard.

If we want music to be viewed as an essential part of the fabric of our society, and if we want musicians to be taken seriously, then we need our training to reflect this, from the very beginning. This is why we need to hold our students – even our very young students – to practice expectations. Music is not just another “fun” activity for kids. It’s its own discipline, and should be treated as such.

You could make this case for any activity – visual art, martial arts, various sports, etc. While all of these, like music, can be enjoyed and done by hobbyists of nearly any age, they also can be practiced at a very high level, and students who choose to keep studying them should be held to standards that match that level. A student who practices gymnastics for five years, for example, is expected to move beyond the basics he learned in year one. Someone who practices martial arts long-term is expected to move up in his discipline’s belt system, showing that he is continuing to refine and master his skills.

Music study needs to come with this same expectation. There are certain skills you have to learn if you want to do music long-term, and coddling students who continually do not put in a good faith effort to cultivate those skills is not only a disservice to them, but also to music itself and the way we, as a society, view it.

What Do We Do With Chronic Non-Practicers, Then?

I’m of the opinion that, if a kid has shown themselves to be so disinterested in their instrument such that they don’t engage with it at all between lessons, for months at a time, and the teacher and/or the parent(s) have taken reasonable measures to assist the student in the practice process, then it’s time for a conversation about why the student is still in lessons, and whether their time might be better spent building some other skill or focusing on other necessary things – especially if the student is old enough to understand, conceptually, that getting better at any skill requires practice.

With very young students (say, eight years old or younger), I would have a conversation with the parent(s) and ask how involved and invested they are in their child’s musical development at home. Young students generally cannot be relied upon to take the initiative when it comes to their own practicing, and often need frequent reminders from parents or caretakers, but you’d be surprised at how many adults simply assume their children will be self-sufficient practicers from a young age.

Another thing many parents often don’t realize is how hands-on they will need to be in the practice process, to ensure that their child is practicing the things their teacher has assigned to them, and in the right way. When I was very young, probably up until age seven or eight, my parents practiced WITH me, which was certainly an investment of time on their part, especially considering that they were also doing the same thing with my younger sister, who started violin about a year after I did. Even after I was old enough to practice somewhat independently, they checked in frequently and read the assignments my teacher had written out, making sure that I was doing everything I was supposed to.

If the parents and/or the children do not recognize that learning music involves a significant investment of time at home, or they are unwilling to make that investment, then now is not the right time for the child to be in lessons.

I hear all the voice teachers of littles and/or chronic non-practicers coming at me right now. “But isn’t it better that they do music than not?!” “My students love coming every week and just singing their favorite songs as a release and to decompress! I know they need this, and I hate to turn them away!”

I’d respond with two things:

First, consider what your scope of service is as a music teacher. Your job is to teach them something. They are there to learn from you. The movement toward “student-centered learning” is a laudable thing, but that model still implies that there is a teacher, and there is a student, and one is there to help direct the learning of the other. If the student is not allowing you, the teacher, to do that, by not holding up their end of the agreement to be an actual learner, then it is no longer a student-teacher relationship. It is something else. That is neither a good nor a bad thing, simply an objective fact – but we must consider what falls within our scope of service as teachers, as well as our own zones of excellence; where and how our skills are best used; and whether the child might be better helped through another medium and/or in another forum.

Second, if a child is looking for a release through music, and is using it as an outlet or means to decompress, they do not need a voice teacher to help them do that. Perhaps they need music therapy, or perhaps they simply need to engage with their favorite music on their own, singing along on their own time, in their own space, to help them process whatever is going on in their life. Again, your job as a voice teacher is to teach them how to sing, not be the adult who helps them through all their issues – even if the vehicle through which that seems to be occurring is something that is within or related to your area of expertise. And unless you have a child psychology or mental health background, you should definitely NOT attempt to do this.

Your skills as a teacher are valuable, and likely were developed through lots of hard work and dedication on your part. I encourage you, for multiple reasons, to use them in the way you truly want, serving the students you truly love to work with. There is no point keeping a student in your studio who is not holding up their end of the agreement to be an invested learner, especially when there are students out there who would love to work with a skilled teacher who will help them become excellent musicians.

And if your passions lie in an area other than teaching music, and you’d rather help young people in some other way, then there’s no shame in that. Just make sure you define what that way is, what the modality would be, and what is within the scope of service of someone practicing that modality.

Now that we’ve established that practice requirements are, in fact, necessary, and why, I want to get into what I believe to be the two main reasons that students don’t practice.

Reason #1: They Might Have the Wrong Mindset About Music Lessons

The first is that they might have the wrong mindset about music lessons.

By “the wrong mindset,” I do NOT mean that the student’s goals or motivations for their lessons are necessarily wrong. People have many reasons for enrolling in music lessons.

At the most fundamental level, however, any student needs to understand first and foremost that, regardless of their individual goals, the primary goal of music lessons is to get better at music. The primary goal is musical skill-building, in service of the student’s other goals. And skill-building, as we’ve already established, requires thoughtful engagement and frequent practice, as well as a growth mindset.

When I say “the wrong mindset,” I mean that students who do not approach their music lessons with a growth mindset are going to be a mismatch for the setting they’ve chosen. They will be unwilling or unable to meet a teacher’s expectations, because they don’t, first and foremost, have a desire to grow as a musician.

Students who approach their lessons with a growth mindset, however, will excel – not because they’re necessarily more talented, but because they’ve invested in the process of learning and improving at something.

I think of hobbies I’ve enjoyed as an adult. I love kickboxing because it builds strength, balance, and coordination all at once, and requires a specific technique you must attain mastery of if you don’t want to continually injure yourself. Before covid, I went to the gym four times a week and practiced, simply so I could get better at a skill, and now I keep it up with my own bag in my basement. (Yes, there are other benefits, too, such as increased mental health and physical fitness, but I could choose to do any number of other things to achieve those. I chose kickboxing, specifically, because I was interested in cultivating the skills required for it.)

My husband and I did archery for a while, and we went to the range at least a couple times a month and participated in tournaments, so that we could get better at the skills required for the sport. We weren’t amazing at it, but we did improve, and that’s because we both approached it with an investment mindset that allowed us to grow.

This is why I love working with adult students, either avocational or pro/aspiring pro. Even if they admit to not practicing, or not practicing as much as they wanted, they are still invested in the learning process during the lesson, and know how to ask thoughtful questions or incite valuable discussions that still make the session worthwhile.

I’m of the opinion that nearly everything in life should be approached with a growth mindset. If you’re not growing, you’re stagnating, at best. Everything from health and fitness to hobbies to spirituality should be approached with a growth mindset. We should always be trying to be better than the person we were yesterday. While external results and reasons play a role in our desire to improve at things, the intrinsic motivation should be that we want to become as fully human as possible.

Music lessons are just one way to do that. If music isn’t where a student sees themselves developing their humanity and growing as a person, then that’s okay. There are other options out there – as long as they’re growing with something.

Reason #2: Practicing Is Its Own Skill That Requires, Well, Practice

The second reason that a lot of students don’t practice is that they don’t realize that practicing is, itself, a skill that needs to be built.

It’s primarily the teacher’s job to help the students build this skill, along with all the other musical skills they will need to succeed. But many teachers don’t focus on how to build the skill of practicing, perhaps because they don’t have a systematic way of thinking about it themselves, or they just assume that their students will figure out how to practice as they go.

I think back to my journey as a violinist, and how I was taught to practice. I was shown specific techniques for practicing fast passage work, for example, or double-stops, or mile-high arpeggios.

When I became a singer, however, the practice advice left a lot to be desired. There was little guidance around frequency, duration, or content, other than instructions to practice both vocal exercises and repertoire. How you did that, though, was kind of up to you, and you were basically on your own.

I think that many singers, in particular, are not actually taught how to practice well. They are not taught, early on enough in their training, what the purpose of each exercise is, how to ensure that the isolated techniques they practice can be executed consistently in the context of actual music, what the order of operations should be, or even enough tools to ensure they achieve the desired result (if a desired result has even been articulated in the first place). And then these singers go on to become voice teachers, and pass on the same unstructured advice to their own students, assuming that they, like the teachers themselves, will eventually understand how to do it – because, “After all, I figured it out, didn’t I?”

Sure, they might figure it out, but probably not before they hit several walls in frustration and find themselves facing near-constant uncertainty around whether they are doing things right. (Speaking from personal experience as a young singer, here.)

Students need to be shown what to practice, yes; but also what the goals of a practice session should be, according to their needs and overall musical aspirations, and shown multiple different ways to achieve that goal. Otherwise, they end up feeling like they’re spinning their wheels and making no progress, which often ultimately leads to them deciding that perhaps music isn’t the thing for them after all.

If Music Is Important to Us, Then We Need to Teach Like It

When students experience one or both of these things – a lack of growth mindset in their music-learning or not knowing how to practice – friction around the act of practicing will almost certainly increase. While it is ultimately the student’s choice whether or not to practice, helping them cultivate the right mindset about their learning and helping them build the specific skills required to practice well, will make it easier for them to make the choice to practice – thus speeding their progress and feelings of joy and fulfillment in their music-making.

If we want music to continue to be viewed as a beautiful art form worthy of study, then we need to treat it that way with students of all ages, showing them what skills to build and how, in a context where they agree to be active learners and accept accountability for their journey.